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Xena: You guys really shouldn't have gone through all this trouble. I was just stopping by to say hi.
Perdicus: Trouble? Don't be ridiculous. You are family. And you are always welcome in our home. Gabrielle: Perdicus is right. We've been looking forward to this for a long time. You do look wonderful, Xena.
Perdicus: You haven't changed since we last saw you. How do you stay so young and fit?
Xena: Oh, it must be all the riding. Gabrielle, you keep a lovely home. You've always had this gift for arranging things.
Gabrielle: It's our humble little abode for now. Modest but real cozy.
Perdicus: Yes, as long as Gabrielle and I are together any place would be comfortable to me. I could live in a stable and sleep on a bed of straw. As long as Gabrielle is there to radiate her warmth over my body, I'll never be cold.
Xena: That was lovely. But I really do like what you guys did with this place.
Perdicus: I'm glad you like it. We've set up the guest room for you.
Xena: Oh no, you guys- really, I couldn't ask you to put me up for the night.
Gabrielle: You don't think we'd let you spend the night in the woods, do you?
Xena: The heck with that. The mosquitoes here are vicious. I'm staying at an inn when I get to Thebes.
Perdicus: You insult us. You'd take an inn over our warm hospitality?
Xena: It's not that. I have business I need to take care of in Sparta, and if I'm going to get there in time, I really need to keep moving. Besides, you've already done more than enough treating me to dinner.
Perdicus: Believe me Xena, the pleasure's all mine. Had you not been here, Gabrielle would never have gone out of her to way to prepare such a fabulous meal, and right now I would be dining on scraps and leftovers.
Gabrielle: Yes, Xena. Besides, it's nice to have someone around who appreciates my cooking.
Xena: You guys are such great kidders. Gabrielle, this meal is superb. Hard to believe this is the same Gabby who used to burn soup! You certainly have come a long ways.
Perdicus: Could have fooled me.
Perdicus: I mean, you could have fooled me that at one time, Gabrielle didn't know how to cook. Seeing as how wonderful a cook she is now. I'd like to present a toast. To good food , good wine, and good friends. The gods couldn't bless us more.
Xena: I'll drink to that. Cheers.
Perdicus: So tell me Xena, what kinds of wild, new adventures have you faced since we last met? Gabrielle is always wondering about you.
Gabrielle: I don't think Xena is in the mood for that now, Perdikins. She must be awfully tired after such a long trip.
Xena: Actually, nothing really new has happened. Just the same old routine. Perdicus: You make it sound as though you're doing the laundry.
Xena: Anything can get dull after you've done it for fifteen years.
Gabrielle: Yeah. I remember how boring things used to get when we were together. In between battling warlords and slave traders and fending off savages, we didn't really have a whole lot to do.
Xena: We had some pretty wild times together, Gabrielle. But we also had our fair share of close calls. Gabrielle: But what's life without risk? I mean, I did things I never knew I was capable of doing until I had to do it.
Perdicus: Honey, would you pass me the bread?
Xena: We pulled off some pretty crazy stunts. Crazy even for us.
Gabrielle: Seems like yesterday.
Xena : Doesn't it?
Perdicus: Dear, this bread is stale. I believe there are some fresh loaves in the kitchen.
Gabrielle: I know this sounds a little weird, but sometimes I think it was all just a dream. All those adventures we had ...journeying to far off lands and exotic places...
Perdicus: Dangerous places I might add. Nowhere a woman should go.
Perdicus: Xena, I didn't mean..
Xena: That's all right Perdicus. I know what you meant.
Gabrielle: Good. Then maybe you could fill me in.
Perdicus: All I meant by that was that I'm glad I was able to provide Gabrielle a life more suited for her.
A girl of her type belongs in a home taking care of a family and not on a battlefield.
Gabrielle: Xena, we really didn't spend that much time on battlefields as I recall, did we?
Perdicus: Fighting, danger- it's all the same thing. You know what I mean, Xena?
Xena: Gabrielle, you have what I've always dreamt of having - a nice comfortable home and someone to love and care for you.
Gabrielle: Oh Xena, Perdicus knows I appreciate him. Besides, who would want a life filled with excitement and danger? To this day, I thank my lucky stars that Perdicus rescued me from all that.
Perdicus: I've been trying to tell Gabrielle that she shouldn't take for granted the peace and quite we've worked so hard to get. It's becoming an increasingly hazardous world out there.
Xena: Perdicus is right, Gabrielle. The world has become a more hostile place since you traveled with me.
Gabrielle: Has it? I wouldn't know anything about that, Xena. Anymore, I rarely get to see the outside of my house.
Perdicus: You're so funny, Gabby dear. Why it was just last week I took you out to see the community theater's rendition of 'Medea'. Xena: You'll have to give me the recipe for this gravy, Gabrielle. I've never tasted anything like it.
Perdicus: Actually that's soup, but at least she didn't burn it, right?
Gabrielle: No, actually that is gravy, dear. Why don't you try some and then you could see for yourself?
Perdicus: Honey, I was only kidding. Anyway, in the long run what's the difference? Soup, gravy -All I know is if my Honeykins made it, by golly it's gotta be good enough for me.
Gabrielle: Xena, I'll be sure to get that recipe to you before you leave.
Xena: So how is your business doing now, Perdicus?
Perdicus: Actually Xena, the business wasn't doing so well. So I decided to explore other options.
Gabrielle: Dear, why don't you tell Xena all about your new job?
Xena: New job?
Perdicus: I don't actually have a 'job' so to speak at the current moment. As I've been telling Gabrielle, I'm sort of in the middle of a transition state- a planning period if you will.
Gabrielle: Oh don't be bashful, Perdisweets. Tell Xena about your idea for your new career!
Perdicus: Xena, you're an ambitious type of person. Don't you agree with me that life is too short to limit ourselves with dead end jobs when we have dreams of becoming much more?
Gabrielle: Perdicus quit the business to become an aspiring poet.
Perdicus: Not aspiring , honey. I am a poet and a very good one at that.
Gabrielle: Oh, Perdicus is a fine poet, Xena. And I'm totally optimistic that it'll put food on the table even after my inheritance money is exhausted.
Xena: I think it's wonderful that you've chosen to pursue your ambitions, Perdicus. Perdicus: And Gabrielle has been so patient with me through my changing career plans. 'For better or for worse, in sickness and in health', I always said. I really can't imagine what life would've been like if I had married someone who didn't support my hopes and dreams. Xena, I'd like to present a toast- to my supporting wife, who I know will always be there for me. Gabrielle: Don't you think that you've had enough for the evening, dear? Perdicus has been trying to cut down.
Perdicus: Yes, that's true, honey. I have been trying to cut down, and feel I have been doing a fairly good job of it. But I thought that this being a special occasion and all - I mean it's not everyday that the woman who saved my life comes to visit us- I just thought maybe we could relax the rules a little and enjoy ourselves...for a change.
Xena: You know, for a minute there I thought you two were actually being serious!
Gabrielle: We like to joke around a lot.
Perdicus: It's the only thing that keeps us going!
Xena: You guys make me laugh.
Gabrielle: Which reminds me - Sweetheart, why don't you recite one of your poems for Xena? Xena, you've got to hear this. My Perdibear is just loaded with talent.
Perdicus: I would Gabby hon, but I'm not really in the mood right now.
Gabrielle: Oh c'mon, sweetie. Let Xena see how good you are. We won't know when she'll be coming
Xena: If Perdicus doesn't feel like it right now, then I can hear it some other time.
Perdicus: Yes. You see, an artist has to be in the proper mood before he can fully express his creative vision...
Xena: So what about your artistic endeavors, Gabrielle? You still play the flute?
Gabrielle: No. Come to think of it, I haven't seen my flute in months. Perdicakes, do you know what I might have done with it?
Perdicus: No, dear. I don't seem to have any recollection of it. Is there anymore pie left in the kitchen?
Gabrielle: Oh, now I remember! I sold it off at the yard sale!
Xena: You guys had a yard sale already? When did you do this?
Gabrielle: I think...if I can recall correctly, it was somewhere around the time right after Perdicus quit his job. But I could be mistaken.
Perdicus: The yard sale was my idea. I thought it would be nice to bring in some extra gravy money, and at the same time rid ourselves of a lot of junk. But I do seem to remember telling Gabrielle that she could keep the flute if she wanted to.
Gabrielle: That's okay. I wasn't using it much anyway. It was interfering with Perdicus's artistic vibes.
Perdicus: We all make sacrifices, don't we?
Xena: Boy, I gotta tell ya'. I am stuffed! Gabrielle, I haven't eaten this well since I lived with my mother.
Gabrielle: You want some more dessert? I can go back into the kitchen and get some for you.
Xena: No. Honestly, I couldn't eat another bite.
Perdicus: Neither can I.
Xena: Gabrielle, It's so hard to believe how much you've changed in just two years. One day you're a naive little kid, and now a mature adult soon to have her own.
Gabrielle: My own? Oh, you mean the crib...
Perdicus: Gabrielle and I aren't expecting children soon.
Gabrielle: We've been trying.
Perdicus: Don't worry, Xena. The crib throws a lot of people off. Personally, I thought we should put it away as to not mislead anyone, but Gabrielle has this notion that if we keep the crib around, the gods will eventually take pity on us and -who knows? It may not be such a silly idea after all. The gods work in mysterious ways.
Gabrielle: I'm sure as far as the gods are concerned, we're not short on pity. But Perdipoo is right, I have been a little obsessed with the whole idea of having children lately. I don't know how he puts up with me.
Xena: Things will work out, Gabrielle. Like Perdicus said, the gods work in mysterious ways. Perdicus: Xena, Gabrielle seems to listen to you. Maybe you could explain to her that in the real world, things don't always work out just the way you want them to. It takes time and perseverance to get the things you want out of life. Right Xena? You can't expect a miracle to happen overnight, and it is my belief that impatience may have played a factor in...frustrating our plans. Gabrielle: Yes...but then again, I imagine the fact that we haven't slept in the same bed for over a year doesn't help matters a whole lot, either.
Perdicus: And we both know why it has to be like that, don't we dear?
Gabrielle: Yes. But I suppose you have to break eggs if you want to make omelets.
Perdicus: There goes that sense of humor again. That's one of the things I married Gabrielle for. She never was short on humor! But, dear, let's not get too carried away before Xena starts to think that I really am the lazy, impotent, drunkard you're making me out to be.
Xena: Well guys, I really hate to eat and run, but...
Gabrielle: Leaving so soon? But you just got here!
Perdicus: Gabrielle's bad taste in humor isn't scaring you away, is it? Believe me, we always kid around like this.
Xena: No, it's not that. But I really do have to be going. I want to make it to Thebes before it gets too dark.
Perdicus: It's still not too late to take us up on our offer, Xena. We've already prepared the room for you.
Xena: Thanks. But I have to make tracks if I'm going to get to Sparta on time.
Gabrielle: You have to promise that you're going to visit me just as soon as you take care of your
business in Sparta, okay?
Xena: I promise I'll come see you as soon as I possibly can.
Gabrielle: That's not what I said.
Xena: Gabrielle, I really am very proud of you. Keep up the good work, all right?
Gabrielle: I'm missing you again already, Xena.
Perdicus: Before Xena goes, I would like to propose one more toast.
Perdicus: Don't worry honey, I promise this'll be the last one. But we can't end the evening before we drink to the guest of honor.
Xena: You don't have to do that.
Perdicus: Oh, but I insist. It is my way of thanking you for all you've done for us.
Gabrielle: All right, but this is the last one.
Perdicus: A toast then, to Xena. For had she not been there for me that one fateful moment , I wouldn't be standing here right now.
Xena: We don't know what really would have happened, Perdicus.
Perdicus: Precisely my point.
Xena: Very well then. Cheers.