Convert this page to Pilot DOC Formatby Joanna
JSandsmark@aol.com
EXT. FOREST - NIGHT
Xena and Gabby are eating dinner, sitting near the fire. Xena is staring at
her plate, looking askance at the shish-kabobed wild boar in front of her,
while Gabrielle glances worriedly at her companion.
GABRIELLE
Is it okay? I mean, you do like boars,
don't you?
Suddenly there is a rustling in the bushes. Without
interrupting her eating, Xena thrusts her sword behind
her and impales the man who is sneaking up on her. It's
Joxer. He falls to his knees, a startled look on his face.
XENA
Ordinarily I'm not a fan of boars. But when
they're skewered, I rather enjoy them.
JOXER
Dying...
GABRIELLE
Great! I wanted to cook something special
tonight. I picked up a book of recipes
back in Phiphophilophibiluphs.
JOXER
(gasping for breath)
Xena...?
XENA
I wondered what you'd bought there.
JOXER
Xena...?
XENA
(impatiently)
What is it, Joxer? Can't you see we're
eating here?
JOXER
Dying... Need... healing... great deal of pain...
GABRIELLE
Speaking of dying, I was wondering --
what do you think I'd look like as a
brunette? Not as dark as your hair,
of course. Wouldn't want people to
mistake us for each other.
XENA
Oh, that's going to happen.
JOXER
I'm... related... to...
GABRIELLE
No, I suppose not. Well, it's just a
thought.
JOXER
Saaaaaagh...
Joxer falls on his face, not moving. Xena glances over
at him, thrusts her hand into his wound, squishes it
around a bit then looks at Gabby, expectantly.
GABRIELLE
Do I have to sew him up again? C'mon,
I did it the last three times.
XENA
But you're so good at that girly stuff.
GABRIELLE
True. Wish he'd stop dropping in
unexpectedly. People might get the
wrong idea.
XENA
Oh? In what way?
GABRIELLE
You know. Like we'd just perish without
a man or something.
The two women laugh, as Joxer regains consciousness and
tries to hold his gut together.
JOXER
Pass the thread?
XENA
Men have their uses.
GABRIELLE
Yeah. Some are kinda cute.
XENA
And they're great for testing the sharpness
of a new blade on.
GABRIELLE
And wonderful with lawn care.
Joxer is sewing his wound with a strip of cloth torn from
his shirt.
JOXER
This doesn't seem real sanitary.
XENA
Well, I think I'll hit the blankets.
GABRIELLE
Good idea. So how's your pelvis feeling?
That injury from Lenoxian the Destroyer
feeling any better?
XENA
I can tell it's going to rain in a couple
days. But I'm okay. Wanna fool around?
GABRIELLE
Natch!
They walk together off screen, arm in arm. Joxer finishes
his first aid and looks around.
JOXER
Those two are so hot for me! It's
pathetic.
FADE OUT.
THE END
