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LL's 10 Non-AOL Questions

by Lizzy/Tendre

1.  New Zealand is...

a.  the land of bright, shiny "Zeas"

b.  a sweeter version of Old Zealand

c.  New Guinea and New Caledonia's lovechild

d.  a place Yanks couldn't find on a map if their lives depended on it

e.  __________

2.  When I see myself immortalized in a plastic action figure, I...

a.  become oddly aroused

b.  pray the toy store clerk won't make it a "Mighty Morphin Mistress"

c.  wonder how many children will put it in their mouths

d.  wonder how many adults will put it in their mouths

e.  __________

3.  I was excited to get my first 10 bags of fan mail until I realized...

a.  9 of them were from my family

b.  9 of them were from a women's prison

c.  9 of them were from The New Zealand Tourism Board

d.  9 of them were for Argo

e.  __________

4.  A "Xenite" is...

a.  an igneous rock formation

b.  what comes before a "Yenite"

c.  a new laundry detergent

d.  someone in desperate need of a life

e.  __________

5.  "Lucy" is short for...

a.   "Lucille"

b.   "Lucinda"

c.   "Lucette"

d.   "Lucifer"

e.   __________

6.  Things I do to piss off Nee Nee...

a.  Call her "Nee Nee"

b.  Ask her to dance the "Achy Breaky"

c.  Erase her "Dukes of Hazzard" tapes

d.  Switch her bra with mine

e.  __________

7.  Things I do to frighten Nee Nee...

a.  Everything

b.  Pick her up for work in a tow truck full of peaches

c.  Tell her she must function counterclockwise down here or she'll die

d.  Ask her if she wants to go fossicking

e.  __________

8.  Things I want Yanks to understand...

a.   I am very grateful for their love of Xena

b.   I don't keep Koalas as pets

c.   I don't wear leather all the time, I do shower after all

d.   Anna Paquin is NOT my daughter, quit asking!

e.   __________

9.   My father's reaction when I told him about "Xena"...

a.   "First you fondle produce with a Maori woman, now this?"

b.   " go buy me some beer"

c.   "What's the matter with you girl, can't you see rugby is on?"

d.   "Do you know what they're saying about you in church?"

e.   __________

10.  What they're saying about you in church...

a.   "Lucy is coming for confession today, pack a lunch"

b.   "She learned those 'Xena Torture Techniques' here first"

c.   "When is Ms. Superstar going to buy us a new rectory?"

d.   "Lucy was always the best one in choir...and she sang well too"

e.   __________


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