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Xena and Gabrielle leave Argo outside and walk into "Central Perk" - the "Friends" are doing their usual...uh...what IS it that they do?
Xena: I understand you serve food and drink here
Rachel: (Thoroughly frightened) Uh-huh
Rachel: Is...is biscotti and espresso alright?
Gab: Hey Xena, didn't you kill them in Sparta?
Monica: (Enters in a huff) OK, whose horse is out front? It just doo-dooed all over the sidewalk and I'm NOT cleaning it up!
Xena: (Snarling) It's mine
Monica: Rach, where's the broom?
Ross (Coming over) Excuse me, are those Corinthinan markings on your...uh (Looking at Xena's chest) breast...plate...thing?
Xena: You know of Corinth?
Ross: Only a little, you see I work at a museum and...
Xena and Ross get into a big converstation
Rachel takes Monica aside
Rachel: God! Do you see the way Ross is looking at her?
Monica: Well, you can't really NOT look at her
Monica: Yeah hon?
Rachel: (Sobs) I want boobs like hers!
Monica: (Sighs) Don't we all
Gabrielle goes over to Phoebe who is strumming her guitar
Gab: Hi, I'm Gabrielle
Phoebe: Of course you are
Gab: Uh, do you have a name?
Phoebe: Of course I do, Phoebe
Gab: Phoebe...are you Greek?
Phoebe: No, Rachel's the sorority girl
Gab: So, you're a musician
Gab: Not much of a conversationalist
Phoebe: Hey, I support the rainforest!
Gab: OK, anyway, that's Xena the warrior princess and I'm her bard
Phoebe: Cool, Ross' ex-wife has a bard too
Joey and Chandler come down from their apartment and freeze at the sight of Xena and Gabrielle
Joey: Whoa...babes in costumes
Chandler Why God when I have these dreams it's ALWAYS in the coffee shop with my friends hanging around?
Joey: Did you say something Chan?
Chandler I said it must be lunch hour at the strip joint down the street
Joey: (Shrugging) Funny, I don't recognize them
Chandler Maybe we should introduce ourselves
Joey: I dunno man, that one chick's sword is bigger than mine if you know what I mean
Chandler Only by a few centimeters, right pal?
Joey: You betcha!
Chandler I still want to meet them...listen...Ross is talking about Greece, they must be Greek!
Joey: Maybe we should talk to them about the Olympics or something?
Chandler Yeah right, nothing screams "DO ME" quite like "Hey, how about that Juan Antonio Samaranch guy"
Joey: Hey, it's a start
Joey walks over to Xena and Ross Gabrielle comes over to Chandler
Gab: Hi, I'm Gabrielle and that's Xena, warrior princess
Chandler Hello, I'm Chandler, office automaton and that's Joey...uh...that's Joey
Phoebe: OK OK, Can I have everyone's attention? Um...SHUT UP...OK, I want to dedicate a song to our two new friends (Now singing) "Warrior...princess...warrior...princess...which one exactly are you?"
Rachel: (Whispering) Mon, look at these funny coin thingees she paid me with - what do I do?
Monica: Look at HER (Pointing to Xena) Do you really want to ask them to leave?
Rachel: (Whining) Ross!
Ross: What's wrong Rach?
Rachel: Ross, they scare me, get rid of them
Ross: C'mon honey, they're really nice girls, slightly intimidating, but nice...
Xena hoists Joey off the ground and holds her sword to his neck - Chandler passes out
Ross: (Gulps) Or maybe not...
Xena throws Joey on the sofa
Monica goes over to Joey
Monica: Are you OK? What did you say to her?
Joey: All I said was that I'm Italian and I really love tomatoes
Xena: Let's go Gabrielle, these people make me nervous
Gab: I dunno Xena, I kinda like Chandler
Xena: Be careful, something tells me he'd prefer Hercules