Convert This Page to Pilot DOC FormatConvert this page to Pilot DOC Format

Changes and Realizations
By Bardic
Copyrighted February 2nd, 1999

Warning: This is a story about two women who are quite obviously in love so get with the times!!

LoL, just joking. But this is a story about two women in love, even if it does contain no mention of sex (Sorry grrls, I let you down) so if you are too young to read this, or if it is illegal where you live, please exit and read something else * ^ _ ^ *

Rated: G - mushy minus bare skin (apart from gabby's oh-so-attractive midsection, of course)

Author's Note: Hello, and welcome to Yet Another Gabrielle's POV Story! Email is, as always, very welcome, and all feedback is appreciated. Please enjoy * ^ _ ^ *

Disclaimer: Xena and Gabs belong to MCA and associated companies blah blah blah. I get not profit but happiness from writing these stories. Ye can take away my freedom but ye'll not take away my stories damn ya!

It began a long time ago, I know that now. Back when I still followed her like the lost little farm girl that I was. I knew something in me was changing, deep within my breast. I suppose I could label it as a simple change of heart, but I know it is more complicated than that.

A realization of feeling, a tumbling of emotion. I did not understand back then what it was. I had never experienced anything like it before, it was new and exciting, confusing and frightening. But when I think back on it now, perhaps I did know what it was, and yet refused to admit it to myself.

Then things changed. Somehow I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up wandering that path with the wrong people. I got married! I thought I was in love with Perdicus, and I suppose that in some ways I may have been. But for all the wrong reasons. I was in love with the idea of being loved. When I kissed him after we were married, it was chaste; a child's kiss of infatuated friendship. But when she kissed me afterwards...

I knew I was losing her then. She said she would visit, but I knew she would not. And then her face changed to an expression I had never seen before, and I fear I will never see again. She leant in so slowly, and as her lips touched mine, I could feel the restraint behind them.

She has kissed me a few times since then - too few for my heartache. And each time I can feel my change of heart growing stronger, until now it almost consumes me. Now, my realization is so engulfing that I can hardly breathe when she comes near to me.

It has become so natural to sleep with my body tucked against hers each night. When I tell her I love her, and she says it in return, my heart aches and I nearly fall with the trembling in my knees. To live in such sweet torture that I fear will never be fulfilled makes me cry when I am alone at night and my reticent warrior is off tending to business of her own.

But I have brought this vice upon myself, and I endure it knowing that in her ignorant state, there is at least no chance of her fleeing from me in the fear or distaste I am sure she would harbor.

One day I may get my chance to live the dream I strive for. Until then, I remain forever changed, and led by my heart. I follow her now - not in na´vetÚ - but in love.

~ Gabrielle ~


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Please write me at * ^ _ ^ *

Listings of works by Bardic Fan Fiction
Return to the Fan Fiction area