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From: Melissa McMahan <>
To: <>
Subject: THE OPEN SPOT LIGHT. ACT ONE (edited)
Date: April 20, 1999 4:54 AM

The aftermath of T.F.C.C.



Argo stood watching them fall, Aphrodite being a goddess with one snap
of her fingers had saved everyone's life. Xena looked up and saw her
friends laying passed out from the fear of falling. She saw Aphrodite,
limp she walked up to her.

APHR: You're welcome, Xena.

Before Xena could respond the goddess left in a shower of gold light.
Xena walked between her two friends and put her hands on each of them
at the same time. Then Gabrielle opened her eyes and Xena smiled at
her, they hugged. Xena took Joxers legs and Gabrielle grabbed his arms,
then they drug him to a drier place. A ridge under a mountain, the two
women sat down and panted.

XENA: Aphrodite, she saved us.

GABBY: Remind me to thank her later?

They both sat there waiting for Joxer to come around.
Soon the rain ended and Xena walked to the camp, she hang up all their
wet things in tree limbs. Then walked back to her friends.

XENA: Go rent a room at that inn for a few nights, all our bed rolls
are drenched and need to be cleaned once they dry out. (Sighs) I'll
bring Joxer when I pack up everything else. (Hands her fifty dinars) Go

Gabrielle walked off numb and cold from her wet clothes. She made it to
the inn and paid for the room.
Ironically getting the same one as before, she walked in and took off
her wet things. She took then in the bathroom and hung them over the
tub. She wrapped up in the sheet off the bed once again. She had flash
backs about Joxer and started to cry.

GABBY: Please get better?

Xena grabbed Joxers helmet and his bag, along with anything else that
wasn't soaked and loaded Argo. She then lifted Joxer onto the horses
back with a few straps so he wouldn't fall off. They headed out. When
they got to the inn she drug him inside. With a few people giving her a
funny look. The innkeeper offered to unpack her horse if she and her
friend would stop dripping water on his floor. Xena nods as she drags
Joxer up the steps and enters the room, laid Joxer on the floor.
Gabrielle bends down to rub his forehead.

XENA: I'm gonna get undressed myself, the innkeeper will be up here
with what I could bring. See if anything is dry for us to put on.

Gabrielle nods, then Xena goes into the bathroom. The innkeeper knocks,
she lets him in and after sitting the stuff down he leaves without a
word. Gabrielle finds the only dry clothes are Joxers. Xena sticks her
head out the door and Gabrielle hands her one of his shirts. She
quickly puts it on and Gabrielle does the same with one of his other

GABBY: This is almost a dress on me.

XENA: Well not me, hand me one of his pairs of pants.

Gabrielle hands Xena Joxer's pants and looks for other things she comes
across the rose nightie. She thinks to herself it's just like the one
in her dreams. It's damp and after sniffing it finds it's clean. She
puts it on the sunlight next to the window, then looks at Xena and
scoffs seeing her in Joxer's clothes.

XENA: Now help undress, Joxer.

GABBY: Wh... Excuse me?!

XENA: He'll get sick if we don't get 'em out of these wet clothes.
(Pauses) You can look away if you want.

GABBY: Are you going to?!

XENA: My army use to bathe with me around, so it's not a problem for
me. (Chuckles) Now come on, you get the top and I'll get the other
half. First his boots.

Gabrielle took off Joxer shirt, as Xena pulled off his boots. Xena
grabbed his pants at the band, as a blush
came over Gabrielle and she turned to grab some more of his clothes.
Without looking she put them on the floor next to Xena's foot. Xena
handed Gabrielle his wet pants, which she went to go hang in the
along with his shirt and heard Xena make a little gasp.

GABBY: What is it Xena?

Xena said nothing but after a few more moments walked into the bathroom
behind Gabrielle with his wet underclothes and hung them up with
everything else, they looked at each other.

XENA: That's a mystery you're going to have to find out for yourself,
Gabrielle. (Raises an eyebrow)

GABBY: Huh?! (Walking out) Do you want to help me get him in the bed?!

XENA: I'll be right there! (Whispers) Now I know why Meg and her girls
likes 'em so much. (Snickers)

GABBY: I can't lift him myself!

Xena walks out of the bathroom and helps Gabrielle put Joxer sideways
in the bed.

XENA: If we all sleep this way we'll have more room.

GABBY: You know there's no telling what the other people in this inn
are thinking, the innkeeper was giving me a very strange look. (Sighs)

XENA: Two wet women, one man out cold. (Scoffs) Yeah.

GABBY: They think we kidnapped him?

XENA: Kinda. (Chuckles) Don't worry about what other people think.

Xena takes the fruit she saved from camp and eats an orange. Gabrielle
puts Joxer's head in her lap.

GABBY: He is going to wake up isn't he? (Sighs)

XENA: Sure, but when I'm not as sure of that. He's still in shock. I
give him a day or two at the most.

GABBY: That's good to know. (Musses Joxer's hair)

XENA: Eat something.

GABBY: Later. (Lays down) I need rest myself.

XENA: I hear you, after I eat I'll be right there too.

After a little while they were all still in the bed Xena laid on one
side of Joxer Gabrielle on the other.
Gabrielle's dreams came back, as Xena lightly snored.

Gabrielle's dream:
Minya dressed as Xena was beating up thugs. Gabrielle walked past her
and a gate. Inside the gate she found Ares waiting for her with Hope
and their offspring.

HOPE: Hello mother. (She said coldly)

GABBY: Who's behind these dreams?! You Hope or is it you Ares?! Who?!

HOPE: Bye-buy, mommy.

Callisto takes Gabrielle's hand and drags her into the old run down
house down away from them. She pushes her into a chair and ties her
arms down to it.

CALL: Ha! (Sings) If you want to know who's behind the show all you
have to do is look at yourself only a little bit more. Gabrielle ask
yourself and you'll know everything you need to know. (Slaps her) Wake
up little girl and find yourself. Truth will be your guide. Deny it and
you'll bring nothing but pain.

GABBY: I've had it with these dreams! I can't take anymore of it!
(Aphrodite fades in)

APHR: Then you only need to take center stage and let the spot light
shine on you.

CALL: This love stuff, I'll have no part of it!

GABBY: You did have a part in it when you killed my husband, you crazy

Callisto slaps Gabrielle once more.

APHR: Stop that, both of you! Gabrielle has something to do, right now.

Gabrielle opened her eyes she was facing Joxer and a few moments later
he opened his eyes. She gasps before she sits up and puts her hand on
his chest.

JOXER: Wh... What happened?

Without a word Gabrielle grabbed Joxer and hugged the air out of him.



From: Melissa McMahan <>
To: <>
Subject: The Open Spot Light Act Two
Date: April 21, 1999 8:36 AM



When Gabrielle finally did let go of her grip from
Joxer he was so out of breath he nearly fainted again.
He looked around the room having de'ja'vu or is this a
dream he thought. Seeing Xena fast asleep in his
clothes he smirked, then looking back at Gabrielle
wearing nothing more than his shirt he rubs his eyes.

JOXER: Now I'm the one having a strange dream or a
really interesting one. (Snickers) Um, hmm.

GABBY: No, but it's the same room we were in before.

Gabrielle told him about what happened after the
lightning hit the bridge. Joxer covered his face in
his hand for a moment, trying not to laugh about it.

JOXER: Aphrodite, for once I'm glad she wanted to
metal in my life. (Scoffs)

GABBY: We all owe her our lives.

JOXER: Gabrielle?

Gabrielle looked at Joxer knowing he only called her
by her whole name when he was being open and direct.
This was bothering her because she was pretty sure
where he was going with this. She closed her eyes
moved her head away from looking right at him before
her eyes popped open and let out a long sigh.

GABBY: Look Joxer! (Pauses) Before one of us says
something, anything else lets just not say it.

JOXER: Oh I see?! (Upset) You refuse to even listen to
a word I say, right?!

GABBY: I... Well it's not that, but...

JOXER: Ah come on, Gabrielle?

GABBY: I don't wanna talk about it.

Gabrielle lets out an animal growl before getting up
to go to the bathroom. As she slamed the door Xena
woke up and saw Joxer had come to.

XENA: Joxer, nice to see those big brown eyes of yours
again. (Pats his back) I gotta go to the outhouse.
Wheres Gabrielle?

JOXER: In the bathroom.

Xena gets up and leaves the room, as Joxer stands and
walks to the bathroom door. He knocks, inside the
bathroom Gabrielle sighs and sits in the floor.

GABBY: What?!

JOXER: You can't stay in there forever.

GABBY: I can sure try.

JOXER: Ok, if you're going to act like a bad little
girl then I'm gonna treat you like one!

GABBY: Oh?! (Scoffs) What are you gonna do, put me
over your knees and spank me?!

JOXER: Don't tempt me! (Pounds on the door)

Gabrielle gets up in a rage and swings open the door.
She pushes him to the floor and puts her foot on his
chest. He looks up at her and sees her anger rise, as
Xena walks back in the room.

XENA: Stop it! (Sighs) Gabrielle this isn't good for
either one of you. Both of you sit down.

GABBY: I can explain, Xe...

XENA: I don't care! (Yells louder) Just sit down!

Gabrielle sits down and Xena helps Joxer up before
pushing his butt to the bed too. She takes out her
sword and points the tip of it in their faces.

XENA: Who wants some?! (Silents) That's better.

Xena lays her sword down, then looks up at them.

XENA: You two wanna kill each other, huh?! Pick up my
sword Gabrielle and Joxer you get yours.

Joxer and Gabrielle just sit there looking at Xena
with their jaws dropped. Xena chuckles and puts her
sword away. She turns towards them.

XENA: Look at my catch of the day. (Scoffs) Both of
you just showed me you really care about each other.
Now all you have to do is work on communication.

JOXER: I'm not the one who doesn't wanna talk.

GABBY: Oh so it's all my fault is that what you're are
saying?! (Joxer starts to talk) Shut up Joxer!

XENA: This is talking at each other, not with each
other. (Sighs) I have had it with the sarcasm and the
egos both of ya' have!

GABBY: Xena, you've got the biggest ego I've ever
seen. (Turns to Joxer) Remember when she had lice and
she denied it how often? (Scoffs) I lost count.

XENA: I did not have lice!

JOXER: Yeah sure Xena.

Gabrielle giggles and Joxer Chuckles. Xena lets out
her war cry, flips kicking both of them in the upper
chest and they end up with their heads on the bed.
They both get up and grab a pillow off the bed,
hitting Xena at the same time. Xena growls and knocks
them both on the bed.

XENA: If one of ya' moves I'm gonna tie both of you up
together for the rest of the day! Got me?! (Sighs)
Maybe that would make both of ya' happy. Mmm?!

JOXER: Can I say something now?


GABBY: Then can I sa...

XENA: No! (Clears her throat) Joxer I have a job for
you and Gabrielle I want you to clean the clothes. I
need my leather polished. Joxer come with me, since
I'm dressed like a man I'm gonna have some fun with
it. (Chuckles) I'll need a hat to hide my hair under
and some boots. On my way back from the out house I
saw Autolycus at one of the stands. It's pay back
time. (Sighs) Then before I spring it on 'em, you come
back here to help Gabrielle with the clothes.


GABBY: I'll be out back at one point to polish the
leather, it's too messy to do in here. Besides some of
my clothes just got damp so they gotta be dry by now.
If they don't smell bad I can dress and give you your
shirt back Joxer.

JOXER: Alright Gabby.

Joxer then walks out with Xena and Gabrielle goes into
the bathroom.



By: Melissa McMahan

From: Melissa McMahan <>
To: <>
Subject: T.O.S.L.. Act Three (Four coming soon)
Date: April 24, 1999 11:54 AM

Thank you for letting me know. M.Mc.



Joxer and Xena come out of a shop, she looks like a man kind of. They
spot Autolycus and Xena shoes Joxer away, being not far from
Aphrodite's temple he decides to go there before helping Gabrielle out.
Xena walks up behind Autolycus taps his arm and he turns around.

AUTO: Sir? (Looks closer) Xena?! (Laughs)

XENA: Good eye. (Takes the hat off)

AUTO: What are you doing in Joxer's clothes? (Scoffs)

XENA: Buy me something to eat and I'll tell you, but it's a long story.
(Autolycus nods) Come on then.

Xena and Autolycus go arm in arm into the inn. Joxer finds the goddess
of love looking over some flowers someone left for her. She turns and
smiles at him.

JOXER: Aphrodite, I came to thank you for what you did for the three of
us. (Sighs) But I have to ask you how you knew to save us from falling
in the first place?

APHR: I've been keeping an eye on you and Gabrielle. I was on the
bridge with all of you when the lightning hit it, I was falling too. I
was wondering about her dreams and what is going on with you two

JOXER: You don't know anything about them, right?

APHR: Not me, puddin' and besides that's not my style.

JOXER: So you didn't cast any spells?

APHR: Well I didn't say that, but not that dream thing.

JOXER: What did you do?! (Sighs)

APHR: Just a small one on the nightie you got for her, but it will only
work if it touches her for awhile. (Giggles) It's not instant, what is?

JOXER: What kinda spell is it?

APHR: It brings out your deepest most feelings, whatever they are.
That's it, nothing more. Ok, sugar?

JOXER: Then I'll have to burn it.

Joxer leaves and takes off for the inn. He gets to the room and no one
is there. He looks in everything, then he goes down the steps then
passing Xena and Autolycus who are still eating. He walks out the back
door by the kitchen and sees clothes hanging up to dry on a rope
between two trees. He hears Gabrielle as she hums.

JOXER: Uh, huh!

Joxer walks up behind Gabrielle as she polishes the leather on his
armor. She turns and puts the polish down, wipes her hand on a rag. He
sits on a rock, she turns and sits next to him. She notices his grin.

GABBY: What? (Giggles)

JOXER: Well Xena asked you to do her outfit but. . . (Gabrielle sighs)
Um, it's just that you never polished my armor for me before.

GABBY: There is all sorts of things I've never done for you before,

Joxer is dumbfounded as Gabrielle seductively musses up his hair,
giggles, kisses his neck as she stands up.
Then she winks at him and slinks off into the woods.

JOXER: Spell or not I just don't care anymore! He, he!

Joxer stands and follows Gabrielle, as she bends down to wash her hands
in the river. Joxer tries to sneak up on her, but trips and falls by
her feet. She giggles helps him off the ground and hugs him.

GABBY: You're so funny, Joxer.

JOXER: Um, Gabby? (Sighs) Did you wash everything... You needed to that

GABBY: Yeah, the rain seems to shrink my green top. I
wish it wouldn't. (Backs up) See?

Joxer takes a quick look and blushes, before turning away. Gabrielle
slaps his chest.

JOXER: Ow! Hey what's that for?

GABBY: I donno? (Giggles) I just enjoy hearing you scream sometimes.
(Kisses his forehead)

JOXER: Um, did you find something unusual in the room? (Mumbles) Sheer?

GABBY: Oh the rose nighie. Yeah, who's it for? (Giggles) Assuming you
didn't buy it for yourself?

JOXER: Um, I... Well it's not for me.

GABBY: Meg? (Scoffs) No it's too small for her. It's not a Xena kind of
thing either, it's more my kinda thing. (Sighs) So is it?

JOXER: Gabby I... I...

GABBY: If you say you don't wanna talk about I'll hit you again.
(Growls) I hate it when you get back at me!

JOXER: If you want it, then it's yours. (Walking off)

GABBY: Joxer, get your scrawny little butt back here!

Joxer looks back at Gabrielle before walking into the tree line. Her
fury showing as she marched after him. He got to the door of the inn
before she could yell at him, she went inside and up the steps. Joxer
was sitting on the end of the bed. She opened the door and flinging
herself toward him, landed on top of him.


GABBY: Why don't you do everything I tell you to do?
(Pants) When I tell you to do it?

JOXER: What do you want me to do?

GABBY: Do what I ask and you'll find out. (Sighs) I didn't want you to
walk away from me.

JOXER: I see, so now I gotta do everything you say at all times?!
(Scoffs) No questons asked?!


JOXER: Funny I don't remember you and Xena buying me as a slave or
anything. (Scoffs) So what do you want from me, Gabrielle?!

GABBY: Forget Xena! (Sighs) You know what I want.

JOXER: I do?

GABBY: Uh,huh. (Giggles) Now be a good boy and come talk to me while I
finish my work.

Gabrielle helps Joxer to his feet then drags him down the steps. Xena
and Autolycas have been watching them go back and forth. Xena chuckles,
as Joxer looks back at them. Then Gabrielle pushes him out the door.

AUTO: Gimp.

XENA: Autolycus? (Smiles knowingly and rolls her eyes)

AUTO: Why doesn't she just put a yoke around his neck and start

XENA: Don't give her any ideas, Autolycus. (Scoffs)

Gabrielle sits Joxer on a tree stump and starts picking up after
herself. Joxer just sits there watching, until she smiles at him.

GABBY: Later I want you to help me take them off the line and fold them
up. You can get Xena's outfit and your armor. (Sighs) I'll clean your
clothes that Xena's wearing after she changes.

Joxer does what he's told and they go back into the inn. They walk up
to the room, catching Xena and Autolycus off guard a bit.

AUTO: Back so soon?

XENA: Good I can change.

Xena grabs her outfit from Joxer and goes into the bathroom. Gabrielle
sits down everything she's lugging
and holds the small of her back.

GABBY: Oh gods, I'm glad that's done.

Autolycus motions to Joxer that he should rub Gabrielle's back. Joxer
rubs his hands together and starts to massage her lower back. She moans
and Xena runs out of the bathroom.

XENA: What are you three doing?!

AUTO: Nothing like it sounds. (Snickers)

GABBY: Shut up, Auto! (Moans) You snake in the grass!

AUTO: You shut up, blondie!


AUTO: Hack writer Bard. (Snickers)

GABBY: Son of a Bacchae!

AUTO: Bit...

JOXER: Hey you can't call her that, you bast...

XENA: Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!

GABBY: He's not worth my time anyway. (Sighs) Do me some more Joxer?
(Puts her back to Joxer) Please?

JOXER: Sure. (Rubs Gabrielle's back) Better?

GABBY: Yes! (Moans)

AUTO: I guess we know who is worth her time.

XENA: Autolycus we have something to do, remember?

AUTO: Let's go then.

XENA: I'll be back mid morning, before you ask me anything. Don't! Auto
has to say good bye now. (Sighs) He isn't coming back with me. We're
out of here.

AUTO: Later? (Walks out with Xena)

GABBY: Yeah, much, much later.

JOXER: Why don't you lay down so you can relax?

Gabrielle walks over to the bed and lays on her tummy. Xena gets on
Argo, as Autolycus walks along besides her. He chuckles and Xena looks
down at him.

AUTO: Cute pair. (Scoffs) The moron and the irritating blonde. (Pauses)
Cute pair of what I donno. (Scoffs)

XENA: Mmm.

The innkeeper puts fresh towels by all the doors he starts towards the
room Joxer and Gabrielle are in. He hears her moans and puts his ear to
the door, after a soft chuckle he leaves the rest of the towels. Then
quickly walks away. Inside the room Joxer stops, as she rolls over and
streches. She grabs his arm and he sits down, then she gets on her
knees. Crawls right behind him, then starts to massage his upper arms.

JOXER: You don't hafta do that, Gab...

GABBY: No, but I wanna do it. (Sighs) Relax! Gods, it feels like I'm
trying to massage a rock.

JOXER: Believe Gabby, you're making me feel really good. (Groans) Ow,
not there!

GABBY: It's not good for you to go around sore like this. (Grabs his
shirt) Lemme help you take this off.

Joxer's eyebrow shoot up, as Gabrielle pulls on his shirt. She tosses
it to the floor and forces him to lay down. She makes him yell out a
few times as she rubs his back, but having her soft, silky hands making
contact on his bare back is exhilarating to him.

JOXER: I think I've been sore a few of these places since birth.

GABBY: How did you get this mark on your back here?

JOXER: That's where my dad hit me with his hot fire place poker when I
was three. I was bothering him.

Gabrielle swallowed some air when she notices the shape of it was from
a poker, as she bites her bottom lip and creases it with a finger. She
rolled her eyes up and took a deep breath. Her father was at least a
good man, only a little over protective. She started to rub his back
again, when she noticed other faint marks all over his back. She looked
closer at them.

GABBY: I don't care if you were or not, he shouldn't of hit a child
like this. (Hisses) Oh gods!

JOXER: That's nothing, the first one he gave me is right here. (Points
to his hip) That one really hurt.

GABBY: He and your Jett beat you liberally.

Joxer didn't say anything to Gabrielle as she went back to rubbing his
back, a tear fell from her face. Then she heard a knock at the door,
the innkeepers wife handed her their folded clothes.

WIFE: I took them down and pressed them, no extra cost. (Walking off)

GABBY: Thank you, ma'am. (Shuts the door) How sweet of her, huh Joxer?
(Puts them down)

JOXER: Yeah. (Sits up) You know I think we can wait on going back to
camp to clean the bed rolls.

GABBY: Let Xena do 'em. (Sighs) I worked like a mule today, what did
she do? Hung out with Autolycus.

JOXER: Really. (Scoffs)

Gabrielle puts Joxer's and Xena's clothes near the bags, as she puts
hers away she finds the rose nighie between her skirts. She raises an
eyebrow and sets it aside. She looks over at Joxer and puts the rest of
her clothes away. Grabs the nightie once more, hides it from Joxers
view and goes into the bathroom with it. Joxer wonders what's going on
with her. She undresses and tries it on. Then Aphrodite's spell really
kicks in, she looks at herself in the mirror.
This sheer piece of cloth let nothing to guess about, she stuck her
head out the door and cleared her throat.

GABBY: I'll be out in a little bit.

JOXER: Everything alright, Gabby?

Gabrielle shuts the door without a word.

GABBY: No, it's not. (Pants) This cannot be happening.

Joxer lays back and worries about the spell Aphrodite put on the nighie
was at foot with some of Gabrielle's behaviour. Thinking to himself,
she'd have to put on the nighie in the first place and she's not going
to do that. He chuckles and she wonders about what, as she stands in
the mirror fighting with herself.

GABBY: What's so funny?!

JOXER: Nothing!

Joxer leans back in the bed knowing that soon he'd be sleeping on the
floor, then Gabrielle stuck her head out once more. When their eyes met
she smiled at him.

GABBY: Hey could you hand me my robe, Joxer?

JOXER: Sure, Gabby.

Joxer got to his feet then looked for her robe, he got up with it and
handed it to her. She quickly shut the door, put on the robe and walked
out. Joxer had put a pillow on the floor, a few sheets and had laid

GABBY: The floors not good for your back, you take that side of the bed
and I'll take this one.

JOXER: You're kidding right? (Sits up)

GABBY: No, it's just I got all the kinks out of your back and I don't
want them coming back. (Yawns)

JOXER: Oh? (Stands and lays on the bed)

GABBY: Good night. (Lays down next to him)

JOXER: Sweet dreams, Gabby.

Gabrielle, made a few faces and rolled facing away from Joxer near the
edge of the bed. Rolling his eyes at her, with a pout and a sigh he
punches his pillow. Then Joxer put his head down, as he rolls over and
looks at the moon from the window he ponders what Gabrielle was
thinking about him. Her mixed signals were driving him right up the
wall and he grunts with frustration from her all together. If
Aphrodite's spell was working or not he still wasn't getting anywhere
with Gabrielle. He sighs once more.



From: Melissa McMahan <>
To: <>
Subject: Fwd: T.O.S.L. ACT FOUR (Coming soon act five) Edit 2
Date: April 23, 1999 8:21 PM

> T.O.S.L.
> Gabrielle laid there with her eyes wide open
> fighting the urge she was having. Joxer's kept
> hitting his pillow and making small sounds, this
> wasn't helping either. Joxer started popping his
> fingers.
> GABBY: Stop it!
> As Gabrielle rolls over so does Joxer, their faces
> only inches apart. They just looked at each for a
> beat.
> JOXER: What'd I do?
> GABBY: The noise, don't make it.
> JOXER: Sorry, I was just trying to get comfort...
> GABBY: I don't care, you are driving me crazy!
> JOXER: Well then we are even! (Huffs) Ha!
> GABBY: What? (Scoffs) How am I driving you crazy?
> JOXER: Oh, like you don't know. (Scoffs) Please?!
> GABBY: Um, oh? (Pauses) Joxer, was Xena... (Sighs)
> On the bridge, was she just taking a wild stab?
> (Blinks)
> Or was she telling the truth?
> Gabrielle got her answer when she quickly gauged
> Joxer's reaction. Instead of laughter or a remark
> about how ridiculous it was, like he did with Cupid
> broke the arrows spell. He had a look of horror on
> his face, like she had just ripped his heart out and
> shoved it in his face. She knew she had done just
> that. She sighed and touches his face.
> JOXER: Well... (Trailing off) What if it is.
> GABBY: Oh my gods! (Gasping as she sits up) Oh gods,
> the dreams and the bridge it all makes since now!
> JOXER: Gabri... (Choking)
> GABBY: Aphrodite and Xena, both of them were right.
> (Giggles and sighs) My dreams were right too, how
> could I have not seen it before?! (Sighs) Oh my
> gods!
> When we first met we barely tolerated each other,
> but then we all became good friends and now...
> Now...
> Joxer sat up and put a hand to his face, unsure what
> to say to Gabrielle. She had stopped talking, the
> cricket outside the window was filling the room with
> it's song. Joxer felt her hand grab his arm as she
> pulled it way from his face, there it was out in the
> open and he still didn't know how she felt about it.
> JOXER: Now what? (Pondering he mumbles)
> GABBY: Good question. (Sighs)
> JOXER: Well I'll go along with whatever you want.
> (Clears his throat) I mean I don't expect someone as
> perfect and beautiful as you are to feel the same
> about a goofy, clumsy oaf like me. (Sighs) Why would
> you, it is ridiculous. (Scoffs) It's a cosmic joke.
> GABBY: Wow! (Pauses) Could you possibly be any
> harder on yourself?! (Scoffs) Joxer, I'm not perfect
> not even close. I was the mother of Hope and the
> grandmother to the destroyer, plus everything else
> I...
> JOXER: None of that was your fault, Gabrielle.
> GABBY: I keep telling myself that. (Sighs) The fight
> me and Xena had after Hope killed Sol...
> JOXER: Gabby? (Waves his hand frantically) Don't...
> GABBY: No, it does help to talk about it. (Sighs) I
> know now why you were so worried about me and when
> Xena dragged me away, it must of been pure Tartarus
> for you. (Pauses) When I fell in the pit with Hope I
> heard you yelling for me. (Sighs) How did you stand
> it?
> JOXER: I went there and left daisies for you when I
> thought you were... Well you know, thank the gods
> Xena didn't give up on you being alive. (Sighs) She
> saved your whole family and me from Hope. Xena's my
> best friend, she's always there for us.
> GABBY: Yeah, that's why I said we were like family I
> mean it. We are. Speaking of which my mom and sister
> really like you, my dad I'm not too sure what he
> thinks. Ahem, but Xena sure got an ear full from
> him.
> JOXER: Then you're a lot like your father because I
> don't know what you are thinking either.
> Gabrielle laughs at what Joxer said and then shakes
> her head. Then they gawk at each other.
> GABBY: I feel... Something.
> JOXER: Oh?! (Gulps)
> GABBY: Gods know you irritate me, but I miss you
> when you're gone. (Sighs) I do feel a strange
> attraction to you, but it's not at all what I felt
> with Perdicus. (Sighs) Don't know if I'd say I was
> in love exactly, but... Well it's something more
> than friendship.
> JOXER: It is?! (Choking) What do you think it is?
> GABBY: I'll put it to you this way... (Sighs) When
> Xena said I was jealous of you and Meg, it hit me
> that I... (Clears her throat) I was.
> JOXER: Would it help if I didn't see her anymore?
> GABBY: It couldn't hurt.
> JOXER: Then I won't.
> Gabrielle let out a deep breath. Joxer was mopey for
> a few moments, but then grabbed the back of his
> neck.
> GABBY: I'm sure she won't be alone for long.
> (Scoffs)
> JOXER: Gabrielle both of you have had a hard life,
> so I'd be happier if you didn't start in on her. Ok?
> GABBY: Alright I'm sorry. I shouldn't judge Meg so
> much, she and I have a few things in common. (Sighs)
> JOXER: Me for example?
> Gabrielle gave him a look and sighed.
> GABBY: Um, lets try to go to sleep it's late.
> JOXER: But Gabby I...
> GABBY: Can't it wait until morning?
> JOXER: No.
> GABBY: All right?! (Sighs) What is it?
> JOXER: I know this is the most awkward moment in my
> life and...
> GABBY: And coming from you, that's no small thing.
> JOXER: Ha, ha! (Sighs) Could you listen to me?
> GABBY: I'm sorry, Joxer... But you left yourself
> open for that one. (Giggles) You were saying?
> JOXER: Well there's something I feel guilty about
> and I need to tell you. (Pauses) The last time we
> were here and you fell asleep in the sheet I... I...
> I...
> GABBY: What?! (Getting angry) Joxer?!
> JOXER: Well before I tell you, I want you to know I
> did nothing and believe me that wasn't easy. (Sighs)
> I never went to sleep at all, I just was acting like
> it so you wouldn't take it out on me when you kissed
> me in your sleep. (Gabrielle growls) Gabrielle?!
> GABBY: You?! (Pushes at him) You weren't asleep the
> whole time?! (Joxer Shakes his head) And you bugged
> me about it after you opened your eyes! (Growls)
> Why?!
> JOXER: To see if you'd tell me. (Looks up) You
> didn't.
> GABBY: Joxer if I'd of known you were that good of
> an actor. (Scoffs) I would of had you in my play,
> instead of having you be the producer and maybe it
> wouldn't of been so bad.
> JOXER: It wasn't that bad, Gabby. (Gabrielle gives
> him a look) Ok, it stank! But it had nothing to do
> with your Bard skills, you're writing is for reading
> not for actors to do.
> GABBY: Autolycus was right, I am a hack writer Bard.
> I know after what happened with Zera and the
> warlords, my work will never be welcome in that town
> again.
> JOXER: I think you just got a little to carried away,
> so did I. (Scoffs) I don't know how long I hung
> upside down before some villager helped me down.
> GABBY: Sorry about that Joxer. (Giggles) Me and Xena
> had no idea where you were. Since you were there
> when I met up with you again, we figured you wanted
> to stay.
> JOXER: So you're not mad at me?
> GABBY: Oh no! (Scoffs) I'm mad at you alright, but
> I'm pleased you didn't try anything. (Sighs) Knowing
> how you feel about me, what I did wasn't exactly
> fair now that I look back on it and I know I can
> trust you.
> JOXER: Completely, because I didn't know if I could
> trust me. (Gabrielle giggles) I just didn't want you
> to hate, so that's the reason I kept my eyes closed.
> GABBY: I could never hate you, Joxer.
> JOXER: Somehow I doubt that.
> Without a word Gabrielle hugged Joxer, then she
> found she didn't want to let go of him. He wondered
> how much longer this hug would be, but decided he'd
> enjoy it as long as it did. To his surprise she
> suddenly kissed him with great fury, as she pinned
> him down to the bed and held him down. He made high
> pitched sounds as she put his body in a trap with
> her own. The sound of his heart beat in his head.

From: Melissa McMahan <>
To: <>
Subject: ACT FIVE: Beyond Mortal Splendor (Edit #2)
Date: April 26, 1999 4:12 AM



Autolycus and Xena make their way into a rather large town. Xena stops
along a small pond to let Argo drink.
Autolycus sees an old man eyeing Xena. Xena sees him too before
Autolycus says anything. The man comes up to them, he looks at Xena in
awe. Xena is unsure what to do because the man gawking at her isn't
really hitting on her or trying to touch her.

MAN: Young lady, you are so vibrant, energetic... Oh?!
(Sighs) Look at you! I am but a humble artists and you are my new
inspiration, if you allow me? I will share your special beauty with the
world? Please say yes, my lady muse? (Xena gives a small smile) Yes
that's it!
(Gasps) This is how I shall Paint you, but with a dress on! Not that
what you have on isn't nice, it's just makes you a bit too cold and

AUTO: That's her alright. (Scoffs as Xena sneers)

XENA: If it will make you that happy how can I say no?

MAN: Oh thank you! (Sighs) I will honor that face well.

AUTO: Xena can we get out of here before this guy starts to worships
you like a goddess?

MAN: Xena? (Pauses) It doesn't fit, but I'll find something that does.
(Running off) Thank you, ma'am!

XENA: Say one word Auto and I'll make you wish you'd never been born.
(Chuckles) What a nice old man.

AUTO: Yeah, for a nut. (Xena slaps his chest) Ow!

XENA: He isn't hurting anyone, let 'em paint me.

AUTO: You wouldn't be getting a big head about it would you?

XENA: First off. (Pauses) Who's ever going to see his painting anyway?
There are alot of paInters and few of them ever have their paintings
seen, much less for the world to see. (Sighs) Let him believe it is.

AUTO: I guess so.

Xena and Autolycus walk into the inn, after awile of silent eating and
drinking. Autolycus is a bit drunk.

AUTO: Hey Xena? Xena, do you think anythings going on with Joxer and
Gabrielle? (Snickers) I mean, you know?!

XENA: I know you've had too much to drink now. (Scoffs)

After a small bout of quiet, both Autolycus and Xena chuckle. Then Xena
rolls her eyes.

XENA: We have a lot to do Auto.

At the inn where Joxer and Gabrielle are the innkeeper is going up the
stairs to bed. He passes their room and smiles, then walks on. Joxer
feeling weak and light headed wonders if he's going to pass out under
Gabrielle. She wasn't letting up either, just then she started kissing
his neck and he tried to say something to her. Instead of words the
only thing coming out was gasping and squeals. Letting go of his arms,
she grabbed his hips and he shuttered from her touch. Just when Joxer
decided not to ask her if this was really what she wanted and to just
go with it. Her robe had fallen slightly open and he could see the
strap from the rose nighie Aphrodite had put a spell on. He rolled over
away from her and got out of bed. She growled and her eyes were wild.

GABBY: Joxer, what are you doing?!

JOXER: Look Gabby, as much as I'd like to stay and believe me I would.
(Sighs) More than anything, but you are under a spell and I can't...

GABBY: Huh?! (Sits on her knees) No Joxer, I want you and I know you
want me. So come back here?! Now!

Gabrielle motions with her finger, then starts to slide off her robe.
Joxer whippers wanting her so bad he feels it even in his toes, but
then runs out the door leaving her alone. He gets to the temple and
finds Aphrodite talking to a man. After the man walks off she sees

APHR: Hi, sweetheart! (Giggles)

JOXER: We need to talk! (Sighs) Please?

Gabrielle laid back, crying and wondering what she had done wrong.
After Joxer had his say, the love goddess looked at him and smiled.

APHR: Silly boy. (Giggles) It's not a love spell.

JOXER: It's not?!

APHR: No, it just uncovers what's already there. (Sighs)That a woman
keeps hidden. If any other woman touches it for long enough it will
work on her too.
So whatever you are getting from her is her true feelings coming out,
see? (Giggles) I take it that is why you don't have a shirt on, right
stud muffin?

JOXER: Then this means? (Gasping) This means Gabby was doing what she
always wanted to do?!

APHR: That just about sums it up, yeah.

Joxer feeling like a fool runs back to the inn. He finds Gabrielle
madder than a wet hen sitting on the bed. They looked at each other.

JOXER: Look I can explain wha...

GABBY: Oh, really?! (Standing) Come here? (Pauses) Joxer, come here?!

Gabrielle grabbed Joxer putting him in a head lock and tossing him on
the bed. She growled and reached for Argo's leather stabs Xena has in
her saddle bags.

GABBY: Well I knew you couldn't stay way from me and since I knew you'd
be back. (Giggles) I decided to keep you from running off.

Gabrielle showed Joxer Agro's straps with a huge smile on her face. He
was shocked and slightly in horror of what she had in mind for them.
The thought of being beaten with them wasn't something to look forward
too. She grabbed his arms and wrapped one around them, then took
another one and tied his arms to the bed post.

JOXER: Please don't hurt me, Gabby! (Pants) I won't go, I'll stay! I'll

GABBY: I know you'll stay. (Giggles) Don't worry if I hurt you a little
bit, it will be worth it I prom...

JOXER: Gabrielle?! (Gasps) What are you gonna do to me?! (Gabrielle
giggles) Um, Gabby?!

Gabrielle shuts Joxer up with another kiss. Then she takes the last
strap and gives him an evil laugh.

GABBY: Anything I want to, mister. (Raises an eyebrow)

JOXER: Don't you think we should talk about this?! I mean do you really
want to do this? I mean do this to me or with me? (Sighs) You know?

GABBY: No to talking, yes to everything else.

Joxer sheepishly looks up at Gabrielle who giggles and bends down
blowing in his ear.

GABBY: I love it when you get that look on your face.
(Grabs his arms) These arn't too tight are they?

JOXER: No, but I'd feel better if you let me go?

GABBY: I'm sorry, Joxer. Ahem, but I can't have you running away from
me again.

JOXER: No! (Panic in his voice) I won't leave!

GABBY: This way I know that's true.

Joxer started to say something, but Gabrielle's kiss stopped him again.
She reached for the top of his pants as she did so, everything went
black. The next thing he knew he was untied and laying alone.
She walked out of the bathroom dressed. He was thinking it must of been
a dream, but he did see Argo's straps laying on the floor and Gabrielle
was very happy about something. Confused and wondering he pondered if
that could of been real or not.

JOXER: Nah, couldn't be.

GABBY: What?

JOXER: Gabby, did we...

Before he could finish Xena came in.

XENA: Hey.

GABBY: Nice to see you back in one piece.

XENA: Don't start on me, Gabrielle. (Looks at Joxer) What's with you?
(Scoffs) You look like you had a rough time, what happened?!

JOXER: Ask her. (Points to Gabrielle)

GABBY: It's my fault, I kept him up talking too long.

JOXER: Yeah, talking. (Scoffs) Talking?

XENA: Well we have work to do, because we're running out of money and
this place isn't free. So we gotta get camp sit up again, let's go.

Joxer got up and pulled his act together the best he could then the
three of them left the room for the days work ahead.



By: Melissa McMahan

From: Melissa McMahan <>
To: <>
Subject: Act six T.O.S.L. (edited & rewriten a bit)
Date: April 26, 1999 11:28 AM



Xena, Joxer and Gabrielle worked in camp, none of them
really saying too much to each other. Joxer wondering
if he should say anything to Gabrielle, looking at his
beloved. As she finished cooking the rabbit Xena had
killed, he found he couldn't just ask her.

JOXER: Is there anything I can do for you Gabrielle?

GABBY: Matter of fact there is. (Looks around then
whispers) Later, Joxer?

Joxer nodded, but then wondered if Gabrielle was
talking about what he was thinking about. Xena sat
watching her friends as she ate, taken aback at her
friends mysterious looks at each other. With Joxer
that was old news, but Gabrielle had shot a few very
coquettish looks at him as well. Xena caught herself
with a smile on her face, as Gabrielle put her hand on
Joxer knee after they had eaten and were just sitting
by the fire in total quite.

XENA: Well it's been a long day. I'm turning in.

JOXER & GABBY: Good night, Xena.

Gabrielle and Joxer look at each other and chuckle.
Xena walks away and after pulling her blankets and
pillow down the warm afternoon sun had dried. She made
her bed roll and laid down. When Gabrielle heard
Xena's light snore she laid her head on Joxer's back
as he leaned forward. She ran her fingers in his hair
right by his neck, he started to quivering so much she
felt it and she stopped. Moving to look at him, she
smiled as her light colored eyes made contact with his
big dark brown ones. She reached to take his hand in

GABBY: Joxer I really get to you... (Pauses) That
much?! (Joxer looks down) Um, when you passed out I...

JOXER: Gabrielle, please don't laugh at me or get mad
at me. (Gasps) But you haven't told me what happened
after that you know? (Turns red from embarrassment)

GABBY: I know.

Gabrielle's smile grows as she gets up without another
word rubs his head, like he was a cat and walks away.
He just sat there overwhelmed by her actions.

JOXER: Can't even give me a clear answer? (Mumbles) I
don't know why you have to do this to me? (sighs)

Sitting looking into the camp fires hot burning embers
and the gray smoke dancing with grace around the cool
night air, the sounds of an owl ringing out in the
distance. Joxer was trying to figure out Gabrielle's
motive for not telling him what she did after he
passed out. Had she taken advantage of him in that
state or not? In wonderment he looked at her sleeping.

JOXER: At least you're not having those night mares
anymore. (Sighs) I love you, Gabrielle.

Joxer couldn't sleep, but he went and checked on his
pillow and the rest of his bed roll anyway. Everything
was dry except for his pillow. Thinking it was just as
well he started to walk back to the fire, when he
walked past Xena he noticed her hand was laying on
some of Gabrielles clothes and one of them was the
nightie. He gulped and tried in vain to slide in away
from her palm. Xena grabbed it tightly in her grasp,
he gave up and walked towards the fire. The cold moon
gave way to the morning sun and Gabrielle's eyes
opened to see Joxer at the fire. She went over and
rubbed his back, he looked up at her.

GABBY: Why don't you go sleep in my bed roll?

JOXER: You don't mind?

GABBY: Why would I? (Scoffs) Go on, you need your

JOXER: Thanks, Gabby.

Joxer went fast asleep as his head hit Gabrielle's
pillow, it was almost as soft as she was. A smile came
to his lips as he started to dream about her. Xena
woke up and was amazed to see Joxer instead of
Gabrielle. She got up and found her in the river.

XENA: Why are you letting Joxer sleep in your bed

GABBY: Because the poor guy worked hard all day and
didn't get any sleep last night. (Sighs) Plus I wore
him out the night before talking to him and the night
before that I...

XENA: Gabrielle, you wouldn't be... Nevermind.
(Pauses) Look I have to leave and find Autolycus, he
should still be in the town I left him in. (Chuckles)
I'm sure you and Joxer can find something to amuse
yourselfs with? (Raises an eyebrow) Mmm?!

GABBY: Alright, but be carefull.

Xena walks away, as Gabrielle slashes in the water.
Joxer wakes up, as Xena rides off on Argo. He gets up
and walks around looking for Gabrielle and hears her.
Looking from behind a willow branch he sees her
getting out on the water, the suns rays glistening off
her form. Catching the drops of water rolling down her
naked body, as they sparkled as brightly as diamonds.
Gasping, as his knees buckled under him and he fell
back with a scream. Gabrielle heard him and marched
over where he was, she looked behind the bushes.

GABBY: Joxer? (Sighs) Joxer, are you hurt?


GABBY: What are you doing outta bed?!

JOXER: Argo's hoof beats woke me up when Xena rode off
and I couldn't find you. (Standing up) I was worried.

GABBY: Yeah, until you found me here. (Smiles) You
don't look very worried to me right now.

JOXER: I'm sorry I didn't know that you were bathing.

GABBY: I know you didn't know where I was, but I doubt
if you're are sorry I'm naked. (Giggles) Are you?

JOXER: Well... (Slurs) Mmm, no.

GABBY: Pervert!

Joxer turns a deep purple, as he tries to say
something in vain to respond to Gabrielle.

GABBY: Go on back to bed before I have to hurt you.

After making sure Joxer was really gone Gabrielle
dresses and checks on Joxer. He's asleep, so she
starts writing in her scrolls. Autolycus steals a from
a man taking a nap under a tree, he walks down the
stables to go through his loot and he packs it away.
He hears someone at the door and hides in the hayloft.
Xena walks in with Argo and he watches her.

XENA: There you go girl. (Pets Argo) I love you, yes I
do. (Argo whinnies) Yes, I know you love me too.

AUTO: Xena?

Xena looks up to see Autolycus looking at her.

AUTO: I think you might be spending too much time with
that mare of yours. (Chuckles) People are going to
start thinking the wrong thing about you two.

XENA: Funny. (Dryly) Glad I found you, stay there.

Xena climbing up to the loft, slowly crawled over to
Autolycus and sat by him.

AUTO: So what brings you back here, Xena?

XENA: I have some unfinished business with you, Auto.

AUTO: But we solved everything and I was rewarded
(Chuckles) So what's left?

XENA: I didn't get my reward from you for all my help.

AUTO: Sure Xena, I'll cut you in. (Chuckles) How much
do you want? (Sighs) How does a half sound?

XENA: I don't want your money. (Grabs his arms) I want
you! (Makes her war cry)

AUTO: What?!

Xena gives Autolycus a huge kiss, then towers over

XENA: Do you know how long it's been since I've...

AUTO: From that kiss... (Pants) I'd say too long!

Argo moves when Autolycus's shirt, as well as hay from
the loft falls on her back. Sunset came over a hill as

Joxer sat under a tree, he closed his eyes and then
felt something touching his ear. He opened his eyes
and found Gabrielle stroking his ear with her finger.
She smiles as she moves closer to him, then softly
meeting her lips with his and he moves on top of her.
He starts kissing down her neck as she wraps arms and
legs around him. Her sharp gasp music to his ears.

GABBY: Take me, Joxer?! (Gasping) Now!

JOXER: Oh no, no, no! (Chuckles) You'll have to beg me
more than that and when I do to you what I plan.
(Gabrielle gasps) You will.

GABBY: Please?! (Moans) Come on, don't make me wait?!

JOXER: You made me wait long enough, too long!

Gabrielle pouts, until he takes her hand in his and
nibbles on her finger tips. Caressing everyone one at
the time, he then kisses her palm and slowly all the
way up her arm. He makes his way up to he ear and
blows. Then he softly whispers.

JOXER: Gabrielle I want to worship every inch if your
body the same way, then and only then I'll have you.

Gabrielle kisses him wildly, her hands all over him.

GABBY: I can't wait that long! (Squeals)

JOXER: Sure you can. (Chuckles) If I can you can.

Joxer kisses her eyebrows, her chin and down the other
side of her neck. She groans more, as he goes lower
and lower not missing any part of her body. Which
rippled every time he touched his lips to her flesh.

GABBY: Joxer? (Yelps) Oh, Joxer!

Gabrielle's voice yelling his name louder and louder.
Suddenly Joxer's eyes flew open to find Gabrielle
shaking him, yelling his name. He had only been
dreaming, with a sigh he sat up.

GABBY: You've been asleep long enough, get up and talk
to me. (Sighs) I've had nothing to do for hours.

JOXER: I can think of a few things we could do. He,

Gabrielle couldn't help but make a face at him for
saying that and her eyes narrowed, before she bent
over him. Reaching out, she grabbed his head with both
hands around his ears and laid a big kiss on him.

GABBY: Is that better than the dream you were just
having about me? (Smiles knowingly) So you wanna
worship every inch of my body, huh?!

JOXER: Um?! (Gasps) Oh gods!

GABBY: I started making out what you'd say in your
sleep, just after me and Xena got here. (Giggles) It
made me wonder why my name was coming from your lips.

Joxer tried to talk but nothing was coming from his
mouth. Gabrielle laid a long wet kiss on him. Xena
rolled off a stunned Autolycus, who laid there
motionless for a few more moments. Xena started
picking hay out of her hair.

AUTO: You are the most amazing woman I have ever had!

XENA: Ah, come on?! (Scoffs) Don't ruin this by using
an old line like that one.

AUTO: No, no, I mean every word of it. (Groans)

XENA: Since I can't return it back too you.

AUTO: Excuse me?!

XENA: Sorry but you come in just under the father of
my child. (Sighs sadly) He'll always be number one, if
only he had know how much I did love him. (Huffs) I
lied to him and told him I didn't, he only got to see
his son once. (Pauses) As he laid there taking in his
last breath! (Yells) Then his son died at the hands of
Hope, that forced offspring of Gabrielle's and Da...

AUTO: Xena?!

XENA: I was to blame for all of it, everyone I care
about gets hurt because of me. I left Gabrielle there
when she was rap... (Pauses) Even poor Joxer, he
wouldn't of killed that warlord if it hadn't been for
me kicking the bastard towards him. Joxer he's so good
hearted he still has trouble with it. He did the world
a favor killing that mad man. Saved no telling how
many peoples lives, but he still feels bad. (Scoffs) I
wouldn't of, because I've done it countless times and
I'll end up doing it again. He maybe a moron sometimes
and a pest alot of times, but he's good. So is
Gabrielle, because of me she's been through Tar...

AUTO: Well you're a fun date!

Xena without a word grabbed Autolycus for round two.

AUTO: Xena are are bad for me too. (Chuckles) You're
gonna kill me with kindness.

XENA: Don't speak! (Kisses him) Come and get some!

AUTO: Yes ma'am!

Gabrielle pulled away from Joxer who fell back in a
daze and grunts. After he caught his breath, she
kissed him again then helped him to his feet.

GABBY: Lets go into town? (Sighs) I need more scrolls.

JOXER: What have you been writing so much about?

Gabrielle rolled her eyes and licked her lips. Then
took Joxer's hand in hers.

GABBY: The dreams I was having were centered around
you, come on and I'll tell you, but you must never
tell Xena or anyone else, ok?

JOXER: Sure, anything for you.

Joxer lead Gabrielle toward the path into town arm in
arm with her. He felt so proud of being with her he
seemed almost like a king with his queen beside him.



From: <>
Subject: T.O.S.L. ACT SEVEN (Thank you)
Date: April 28, 1999 1:32 PM



Discord wasn't happy, her dream spell hadn't worked
the way she wanted it to on Gabrielle.

DISC: I didn't think she liked the idiot, muchless
only hid her true feelings for him?! (Growls) I got
to keep these to apart to bug Aphrodite, she seems
to really like this mortal dolt Joxer! Joxer?!
Ah, I got it that tramp Meg! (Laughs) Joxer was seeing

Aphrodite sits on a rooftop as she looks in on
Gabrielle and Joxer, she smiles. Discord in a
flash sits next to her and they hiss at each other.

APHR: Discord?!

DISC: That's right! (Sighs) My dream spell didn't
work on Bardie down there, but I know what will!

APHR: You leave them alone you slimy bit..

DISC: Just for that watch this.

Discord hits Joxer with black broken hearts, he
shakes a bit and looks at Gabrielle. His arms cross.

JOXER: How come you didn't tell me you loved me
before?! (Yells) What was with all the hitting
and the insults, little girl?! I even killed for
you, Gabby!

GABBY: Joxer?! (Discord hits her too) Because
you are a big pest sometimes! (Growls) Awkward, clumsy and stupid! (Yells) I wish I still had my staff, then I'd knock some since into that thick skull of yours perhaps!

JOXER: Well I think you're to pushy and what's with all this goodie, goodie crap from India anyway?! It's that Eli guy isn't it?! (Groans) You liked him didn't you? (Points at Gabrielle) Well you did right?

GABBY: No! But even if I did, what about you and Meg?!

JOXER: Oh so you have to put Meg in my face?!

GABBY: Ha, like you needed my help for that!

JOXER: Oh?! (Huffs) That was below the belt!

GABBY: I'm sure that it was and more than a few
times! Because you are a pervert!

JOXER: I wouldn't of gotten involved with Meg, if
you hadn't of been so offish! So into your ego!

GABBY: Oh so it's my fault you had to go pay her for sex, is that what you're saying?!

JOXER: Well you did nothing but frustrate me!

GABBY: Well now I can say the same for you!(Scoffs)
You passed out! Maybe I shold go find Eli, huh?!

JOXER: Fine and maybe I'll go find Meg?!

GABBY: Fine! (Growls) Maybe you can think about me
while you wait in line behind the others before you and while you have her!

JOXER: That's it! (Walking away) I've had it with you!

GABBY: No you haven't and you just blew your chance!

JOXER: Ha, ha!

Discord laughs, Aphrodite hits Joxer and Gabrielle
with hearts. Discord leaves to get Meg, as Joxer
and Gabby run up and kiss each other in the center
of town. People walk by looking at them. Meg show up
moments later, she pulls Joxer away from Gabrielle.

MEG: You keep your lips off him, blondie or else!

JOXER: Meg?!

GABBY: Or else what Meg? (Scoffs)

MEG: I heard you don't kick butt no more, so if you don't leave Joxer alone I'll kick yours!

GABBY: Oh, I don't think so!

MEG: He's my studmuffin and you can't have 'em!

GABBY: He's not the only studmuffin you've had on
your menu now is he, Meg?!

MEG: I'll get you for that you little brat!

GABBY: Joxer loves me, not you. (Sighs) He don't
have to pay for you anymore. He's got me instead.

JOXER: Ladies there's no need to fight over me.

MEG & GABBY: Shut up, Joxer!

MEG: Remember your vow of love and peace, when I pull out the rest of your hair missy!

GABBY: Joxer, stand back because I just forgot that!

Discord sits next to Aphrodite laughing as Meg and
Gabrielle get into a cat fight. Before Aphrodite
does anything Xena and Autolycus walk into town.
They pull Meg and Gabrielle apart.

MEG: Lemme at her! (Hisses) Lemme at her! Joxer's

GABBY: Not anymore he isn't! (Sighs) Xena, let go of
me! I'll rip her apart! (Growls) Xena?!

XENA: Gabrielle?!

MEG: So much for that peace and love you spout

AUTO: Calm down, Meg!

MEG: Well if it isn't Mr. Sticky and Xena.

AUTO: Joxer? (Scoffs) How did a moron like you get
these two ladies fighting over you?!

JOXER: It just happened.

AUTO: Luck, son of a b... (Xena hits him) Ow!

Aphrodite takes off the nighie spell and puts one on
Meg and Autolycus. Everyone is dazed for a moment.
Aphrodite and Discord get into a cat fight, they
fall off the roof top. Autolycus and Meg go off
together. Xena, Joxer and Gabrielle all in shock
from it.

JOXER: Meg?!

GABBY: With Autolycus?!

XENA: It's just as well.

GABBY: Yes. (Sighs) Wait what does that mean?

XENA: Gabrielle I don't share everything with you.
(Looks at Joxer) I think it's best if you keep some
things to yourself as well. (Raises an eyebrow)


XENA: Lets just go back to camp, tomarrow we have to
make our way north. (Pauses) Some villages are
having problems with some of Crytons old army or
what's left of it. (Pulling her friends along) On
the way we gotta collect Argo. Joxer, I need you and
Gabrielle to find something to do while I get rid of them. Stay out of sight, they might still want to kill you.

GABBY: Don't worry Xena. (Smiles) I have something in mind that will keep Joxer out of sight for hours.

JOXER: Um? (Shocked) Hours?!

GABBY: Mm, hmm.

XENA: That sounds good.

JOXER: It sure does?! He, he!

Gabrielle's eyes Joxer, giving him the look and a slap on his hip. They smile at each other and all three of them head off down the path out of sight.

JOXER: Gabby, stop that. (Laughs) I'm ticklish there!

GABBY: Yeah. (Giggles) I know.

JOXER: How did you know that, Gabby?

Gabrielle giggles knowingly as Aphrodite and Discord fight their way onto the path, then both flash away.

~The End~

The Final Curtain Call and The Open Spot Light.

By Melissa McMahan