Editor's Favorite Fan Fic Lines

A Selection of Lyrics from The Xena and Gabrielle Ultimate Solstice Album
by Xena Torres

When all of a sudden, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
I leapt from the ground to stand in the grass,
Ready for action should I need to kick ass.

(sung to "Here Comes Santa Claus")

Here come the warriors!
Here come the warriors!
Right down the forest path!
They’re riding on Argo,
Here to stop another psychopath.
Gabby is telling, Xena is yelling,
They’re ready to do what’s right.
No more warlord’s taking your town,
‘Cause the warriors are coming tonight!

(sung to "Winter Wonderland")

Xena yells,
Look behind you
. In the town,
She will find you.
You can’t hide from her sight,
You’re a dead man tonight.
Walking in a Xena wonderland.

(sung to "Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer")

You know Hercules, Alexander, Atalanta and Ulysses.
The Amazons, Spartacus, Caesar and Achilles.
But do you recall,
The most famous warrior of all?

Xena the Warrior Princess,
Had something to prove to all.
And she could make your blood freeze,
(blood freeze)
With her mighty warrior call

From The Warrior's Love by Mythmaker.
Xena speaking of Ephiny: Well, what can I expect from a woman who makes love to centaurs.

From Greece: A Musical Parody by Judy (Wishes).
Warriors: Go Greek Argo, you're runnin' on down the trail.
Greek Argo, go Greek Argo.
Yeah, Greek Argo, show the other horses your tail.
Greek Argo, go Greek Argo.
You will go far. You are the star. Greek Argo

From The War Lover by Kaiser
"Would you kill him if you had the chance now?" he asked.
Xena looked from the old man to her friend.
"I'm trying to cut down, but in his case, I'd make an exception . . . "

From Winter's Ending - Part 2 by Melissa Good
"Do you want some?" Lista asked softly, creeping a little closer to her and holding out some of the roast rabbit cautiously.
Wonder what they'd do if I said I only ate mine raw? Xena amused herself with the thought.

A trio from Women in Prison by Elaine Sutherland
And the toughest one of them all was Guard Captain Xenia Krieger.
Six stunning feet of sadistic Law Enforcement. Black hair,
blue eyes and breasts as dangerous as the .38 Police Special
she carried on her hip.

"And this is the rest of the 'family.' Over there is Ephie. Double homicide. Horse rustling."
The Kid turned to her, "You like horses, huh?"
Ephie smiled sort of mysteriously and said, "Yeah."

The perfectly creased pants covered that tight butt and those long muscley legs
like they were painted on, and we all wished we were the painter.

From Matchmaker by Katrina (Recommended by Barron Chugg)
The matchmaker raised her eyebrows and squinted. She picked up her list and checked it,
then looked back at the surprised woman. "You did say she was an
Amazon Queen, did you not?"
The mother stammered, "wwwell yes. I did, but. . ."
The redhead touched Hecuba's shoulder gently, "You are aware that Amazons. ."
"I was hoping it was a phase."
The matchmaker's lips quirked and she shook her head lightly.
"Being an Amazon Queen is not a phase."

From Dark Beauty by Ms Mil Toro
"And the next thing everybody knew, the high and mighty warrior princess let this tiny little bard
have her way with her and miraculously, overnight, she became Xena, the Warrior Wuss!"
Gabrielle barked out the last word and hightailed it down the trail at breakneck speed knowing
full well that Xena would have no trouble catching her. She was not disappointed.

From Journey into Darkness by Godot
"I'll take that as a gesture of forgiveness," she wheezed.
"And not an at tempt to snuff out my life."
Xena grinned and nodded. "My goodness," Antipany continued
to puff, looking at the warrior's cleavage.
"Those are powerful weapons."
"Ah...I can attest to that," said Iolaus, leering at the warrior.

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