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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.


by Melissa McMahan



Xena looked in a widow and saw Ambrose sitting alone. She made her way to the door and kicked it in. He got up only to have Xena toss him around the room like a rag doll. He lands on his back and Xena crushes his chest with her foot. He isn't breathing very well.

XENA: Someone needs to teach you how to treat women.

AMBR: Get off me!

XENA: How many of these woman have asked you the same thing?!

Xena takes her sword and puts the point at the tip of Ambrose's nose. She grits her teeth as she makes her point clear to him.

XENA: Let me hear you beg like they have?!

AMBR: Don't kill me?! Please, I'll give you anything you want?!

Xena takes her sword and slides it under Ambrose's shirt. She cuts it off him, then repeats the same action with his pants.

XENA: Lay back and learn to enjoy it!

Xena moves her sword all over him, then slides the blade slowly cutting into his chest.


XENA: A scar to remember the scars your left on all the women you've done this to. (Dryly) Find another line of work after you get out or I won't be so nice next time. (Gabrielle walks in) Tie this scum up.

Joxer walks in with the chains.

JOXER: I have a better idea, Xena.

Xena, Joxer and Gabrielle take Ambrose out and chain him to a post. They then fight the men and free the women. One woman grabs Joxers sword away from him and kills Ambrose with it, before Joxer could stop her. The woman knocks Joxer to the ground and runs off. Xena, Joxer and Gabrielle tie the men up. Then all three of them are cheered by the women. Some of them start kissing Joxer, until Gabrielle pulls him away and waves her hands around at the women.

GABBY: Alright your families miss you, go to them!

XENA: I wish you all the best of luck!

The women cheer again before they part ways. Xena turns and gives Joxer a huge kiss. Gabrielle clears her throat and Xena looks back at her with the look.

GABBY: Xena?! (Gasping) Xena?!

XENA: Just a thank you, Gabrielle. For all he's done today, you're a hero, Joxer. (Whispers) That and I think Gabrielle's over reacting, hint? Go for it.

GABBY: A hug would of been enough don't you think?

Gabrielle scoffs, as Joxer walks towards her.

GABBY: Xena, what were you thinking?! (Sighs) As for you Joxer, next time anything like this happens. You better watch what you say and do to me! Underst...

Joxer takes Gabrielle in his arms, dips her and kisses her like crazy. Xena chuckles, as she watches them. The kiss goes on and Gabrielle kicks up one of her legs sightly submitting, but fighting it at the same time. When Joxer feels the last of the fight go out of her, he stops and lifts her back up.

GABBY: Joxer?! (Panting) Wh... Wh... Why do you do that to me?! (Huffs) Xena did you tell him to do that, that's what you whispered to him? Isn't it?

XENA: Well you didn't seem to mind too much from what I could see, Gabrielle. (Chuckles) In fact I'd say you enjoyed Joxer's kiss. (Sighs) That is if I didn't know better? Mmm, but he's just a pest... Right?!

GABBY: Xena, the only pest I have now is you!

XENA: Oh?! (Scoffs) So you didn't mind 'em kissing you?! (Smiles) Huh?! Huh?! Did you?


Gabrielle grabs her mouth and her eyes bug out.

JOXER: No? (Looks at Xena) Did she just say...

Xena puts her hand out and Joxer knows to shut up.

XENA: I gotta go turn the rest of them in, see you two in a few days.

As Xena walks off Gabrielle flustered, walks away as well. Joxer follows behind her and soon finds her just sitting on a tree stump. She looks confused and upset.

JOXER: Are you ok? (Gabrielle looks up) Gabrielle?

GABBY: I... I don't know. (Sighs) Look lets just go back to the camp site. (Stands up) I'm tired.

Joxer walked just behind Gabrielle, she could almost feel his eyes on her flesh. She knew they would soon have to talk about this, there was no way to avoid it.

GABBY: Um? (Under her breath) Maybe there is after all.

JOXER: What?

GABBY: Nothing, Joxer. (Looks back) Just thinking out loud. (Sighs) I need to bathe in the river when we get back to camp.

JOXER: The water will be too cold won't it?

GABBY: Um, no. (Sighs) It'll be just right.

JOXER: Only time I go swimming in cold water is when I've... (Stops himself) Um, I've worked up a sweat.

Joxer smiles knowing that his kiss had made Gabrielle hot and bothered. When they get to camp she heads for the water and he sits next to her bag. It's open and he can see her scrolls inside. He opens them thusly.

JOXER: Xena, Xena, Xena... Ah, here's one! (Reads)Joxer the Mighty or as I like to call him Joxer the wanna be. (Pouts) He's a really sweet guy, but he can be a real pest at times. It's hard to use one word to explain him, but unique is the closest. It seems the longer I'm around him the less I really do know about him. It's strange, but there's something I just can't put my finger on about him. (Sighs) He tries so hard, too hard sometimes. I find myself wondering what he's thinking when he pokes the fire or studies he's feet. I wish I could get him to open up more, he keeps so much bottled up. Somehow it seems he shares more of a friendship with Xena. Not a first, but he really grows on her after awhile. I think Xena's best friend is her horse Argo. Joxer coming after me of course, it's all cut and dry with Xena. With Joxer however I wonder. His feelings for Xena are somewhat clear, but with me he's over protective. Like he's on a quest from Zeus to save me and make me so angry at the same time. I just wish I did know what was in that thick head of his sometimes. Right now as I write this he sits there by the fire looking between me and the fire. His eyes say something, yet it's unclear what. I think I...

Joxer hears something and rolls the scroll up, he puts it back in the bag. Gabrielle then walks to her bed roll and lays down. Joxer watches her and she just knows he's looking, as she turns to meet his eyes.


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